Talking Heads

What do you do when you finally get your ass out of bed? Eat Breakfast? Shit and Shower? Give it a tug? I tune into the local hacks on the radio. I have an fascination with sports-talk radio. I actually prefer the radio over the television. I’ll listen from the time I wake up until the second I fall asleep. I’ll listen to the local clowns (TGOR on http://www.team1200.com/) until about 10 – these guys are sometimes witty, never have good guests, and have basically mailed it in. They produce the exact show every week, Monday through Friday. They talk about the Ottawa Senators; they read e-mails and from time to time add a little pop culture. I realize it’s easier to be a critic, but I think I could produce a better show from my anus. For starters, you need to add a few more ‘experts’ to your guest panel. Pierre McGuire is fine, but give me more than one bald ex- coach as your ‘insider’. Although Pete knows his stuff and I respect his 02, he is the only fucker they have on the show. The rest of the time they spew out the same shit hour after hour.

- This guy (Buzz) keeps me up to date every morning in the world of sports - WHAT THE FUCK is wrong here?

These losers have me until ‘The Herd’ with Colin Cowherd fires up on ESPN radio. Colin put’s together a great show. I LOVE his daily football fix, and spanning the globe is the most original idea in sports-talk radio in awhile. Why others don’t do it more often, who the fuck knows? What a noble concept, talk to the hacks who are ACTUALLY COVERING THE FUCKING MARKET! It’s one thing to have an opinion, but another to talk to somebody who has working knowledge of the actual events. Cowherd is smart enough to realize this. His voice does sound like a 9 year old school girl, and he licks the nuts of any athlete he every gets on his show, but for the most part – I can stand him until noon – when the ‘King of Smack’ Jim Rome comes through on my $6.99 portable radio. Yes, I am poor.

- 'This is how I roll BIOTCH!'

I won’t go as far as to say I am a ‘clone’, but I get a kick out of this fucker. His ‘takes’ are usually on par with what I think (makes him a good guy), his interview’s are hands down, tops in the business and the callers are hilarious. Jim manages to put together three solid hours of humor, sports and interviews.

If Jim Rome begins to ‘suck’, I quickly crack open the laptop and get a little Dan Patrick Show action. Patrick is easy to listen to, has a plethora of different athletes and topics, but him and Keith Olbermann are quite possibly the two biggest bum buddies on the air today. They continuously slobber over each other for the duration of the‘Big Show’. And what the fuck is that, ‘The Big Show’? Does that mean the rest of the show is small? Does it imply that DP can’t have a ‘big show’ by himself? Regardless, Danny Boy knows his shit, athletes seem to like him – but he seems to be the typical older dude, trying to be ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ for the younger demographic.

- Best 'paint' job ever....


I am usually cramming for school anytime after supper, until I go to bed – and only listen sparingly to Chris Myers on Fox Sports Radio, Erik Kuselias on ESPN and Arnie Spanier on Sporting News Radio. JT The Brick after 10 if I decide to be an even bigger loser and stay in all night (which is usually the case)

The biggest tool in Sports Radio today is Jorge Sedano! Sedano hosts ‘The Third Shift on Fox’ from 2AM-6AM. It probably makes me and even bigger zero’ for listening to this ass clown, but I have a bad case of insomnia – he’s my medication. Where do I even start:

* His nick name is "The Dean" of late night Sports Talk. Give me a mother fucking break!
* His voice is irritating, and his fluctuations are litterly painful to the eardrum. Then he’ll decide to talk really fast and you have no flipping clue what he is saying. I get the fact it’s 2AM, and you need to be ‘upbeat’, but JE-SUS! I want to attack him whenever he talks.
* ‘This is the THIRRRRRRD SHIFT on FOXXXX SPORTS RADIO, Sedanoinwithyouwiththecrew'.
* ‘MARCEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HALL’
* Yakyakyakyakiamatalkingheadyakyakyak

Those sound effects! The producer of this atrocity just drops them in whenever he feels like it. The family feud bell, Bob Barker; that ‘punch’ SFX. They don’t add to the show, they aren’t funny, so why do you continue using it.

Karen Kaye is a piece of work. If you listen, she has no real opinion on anything and will agree with whatever ‘Ass Clown’ says, or when the listeners are really lucky, she’ll repeat the EXACT same thing JS says, and call it her own opinion. She must have nailed a few big wigs to get where she is. She knows NOTHING about sports. At least that’s the way it comes across on-air.

Sedona’s crew laughs at all of his jokes. I am not psychologist, but this is what we call classical conditioning. They are encouraging the stupidly that spews from this fuckers mouth. He is not funny.

I have never heard an interview on his show, ever! 2AM, granted – but pull a few strings…do something. You must know a few fellas working with the Miami Heat…. Stop bringing me the exact same show every night.

I realize I sound like a ‘hater’, or that I have been enjoying a steady diet of ‘hateroade’ as my little bro likes to say. The bottom line is this, I need to get a life and stop worrying about Sports Talk Radio – I agree.

But...

I do feel better for having vented about Sedano. This blog thing may be the trick for the high level of stress we students get during exam time. Is it Friday yet??

That is all.

-M

On Tap for tomorrow, no idea - suggestions, comments, brutally honest critism! I love it all!